If I have a doula, will my partner feel replaced?
When looking into hiring a birth doula, sometimes partners are worried that they will feel replaced as the main support person. And that’s a valid worry!
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
The good news… when you hire a great doula, they will NEVER replace your partner. A great doula will be there for BOTH of you. Birth can be such a wonderful time of bonding for you and your partner, and should be one of your doula’s main focuses as they support your pregnancy, labor, and birth. The two of you are creating a family, so starting it on the right page empowers you to step into parenting together as a team.
As your doula, I work on bringing the two of you together as a couple in the following ways:
Learning your strengths and love languages as a couple, and using those to support each other through pregnancy, labor, and as new parents.
Giving your partner ideas on how to be more involved in your comfort and care during the labor, so they are your main support, if desired. This is in the areas of massage, positions, and suggestions that meet your needs.
Facilitating the experience so that the two of you can make decisions together. I focus on making sure you both know your options and both of your concerns or wishes are heard by your providers.
Focusing on how you can work together in the postpartum period so that you are supporting each other, and able to each have your needs met while you focus on your newborn.
As always, the support I offer is unique to your family and to your needs. Some birthing people and partners want the doula to be the main support person, and that is always an option. The priority is for your needs to be met, and for your relationships to take priority however that looks. I’d love to chat more about how that looks in a free consultation.